People say that life has a funny way of kicking you when you're down... Dear life, please quit kicking. Lately I've had a very hard time trying to understand my Heavenly Father's plan for me. I know we all must go through trials, I know we all must have faith in His timing, but I feel like a little girl that has waited all year for Christmas, only to wake up and find there are no presents to unwrap and no celebration.
I just need a moment.. A moment of clarity... A moment of perspective. A moment where I feel some direction and purpose for all of this heartache. I never really realized how much I had been waiting for this month, until it came, realization hit, and those hidden clouds started pouring rain... And because of the rain, I felt pathetic. Why must I feel like I'm stuck in the same spot... AGAIN?! What is the purpose in this? I've tried finding higher ground, telling myself I'm alright... telling myself I didn't need the acknowledgment.. But in all reality, it sucks.
Don't get me wrong.. I work at Primary Children's Medical Center.. I see people that have it way worse than me every day... I know I shouldn't complain. But my heart is heavy... and I feel the trials of life, now, probably more than ever. I'm tired... I know that as I turn in prayer and as I keep living the way I should, clarity will come and peace will be given. I just needed "a moment" to let out my frustration. If I've learned anything, I've learned that everything is eventually going to be alright.
