People say that life has a funny way of kicking you when you're down... Dear life, please quit kicking. Lately I've had a very hard time trying to understand my Heavenly Father's plan for me. I know we all must go through trials, I know we all must have faith in His timing, but I feel like a little girl that has waited all year for Christmas, only to wake up and find there are no presents to unwrap and no celebration.
I just need a moment.. A moment of clarity... A moment of perspective. A moment where I feel some direction and purpose for all of this heartache. I never really realized how much I had been waiting for this month, until it came, realization hit, and those hidden clouds started pouring rain... And because of the rain, I felt pathetic. Why must I feel like I'm stuck in the same spot... AGAIN?! What is the purpose in this? I've tried finding higher ground, telling myself I'm alright... telling myself I didn't need the acknowledgment.. But in all reality, it sucks.
Don't get me wrong.. I work at Primary Children's Medical Center.. I see people that have it way worse than me every day... I know I shouldn't complain. But my heart is heavy... and I feel the trials of life, now, probably more than ever. I'm tired... I know that as I turn in prayer and as I keep living the way I should, clarity will come and peace will be given. I just needed "a moment" to let out my frustration. If I've learned anything, I've learned that everything is eventually going to be alright.
Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, then it's not the end. Mishaelle you're a great person. Clarify will come. Sooner or later it will come. Keep learning and growing in the meantime.
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